When will she sleep through?…….

I knew when I was pregnant the first time round that sleepless nights were part and parcel of being a mummy.

I joked with friends and family as I’m sure every pregnant women does that getting comfortable and a full nights sleep when heavily pregnant is near impossible and its your body’s way of getting you ready for the sleepless nights when bubba arrives.

We had the usual sleepless nights and teething troubles etc with our eldest, we also spent the first year sharing a house with my brother and he isn’t the quietest of people bless him. And just after Olivia turned 1yr we moved to my husbands place for a few months (we weren’t married or officially living together at this point but that’s all another story!) and then found out we were expecting again so moved to a bigger place, our current house. So I added all of this upheaval and changes to her lack of sleeping, and then just as she did start to sleep through just before she turned 2yrs her baby sister arrived along with the crying in the night which then woke her.

She did settle into a good sleeping pattern but even these days as they share a room and Bethany (littlest) is now 19 months and teething on/off she is a screamer and wakes Olivia when it’s the high pitched variation (oh my days she has a good pair of lungs!)

And Bethany, well she has just never slept well. From waking every 2hrs from the start, I was so happy when I would get 4 straight hours!

We have tried EVERYTHING to get her to sleep through, she isn’t a good eater either and wakes during the night even now for a bottle. We have tried stopping this also and got her to the point of not screaming the house down for the milk but she still woke anyway and took even longer than usual to settle. And on one particularly bad night and tipping over the edge of sleep deprivation and desperately trying to not wake Olivia I caved and gave her milk again and she settled back to sleep fine and woke again 4/5 hours later ( usually wakes around 6am ish for the day) but this didn’t last after she recently had a bout of cold and coughing bugs.

Out recent thing was moving the girls beds away from each other just incase they were some how keeping each other awake with snoring or something (we are desperate!!) actually having said that the most recent recent thing is The gro company’s “Ollie the owl” with his built in cry sensor, he wakes her up more when he goes off so had the total opposite affect! (Send help!)

So here we are with our 2nd at 19 months and still sleep deprived, at the point now where we think we are doing/did something wrong. I would list the things we have tried but it’s a ridiculous amount as we have done everything (inc give up our own room for a week and slept on sofas downstairs so they had separate rooms, this also did NOT work)

We know in 10 yrs time they won’t want to share mum and dads bed and will be hard to wake up in the mornings for school. So we focus on the knowing this isn’t forever and laugh as we will miss them sharing our bed and wanting sleepy cuddles with mumma and dadda. But when u are beyond exhausted and wonder when u will ever sleep a full night in your own bed it can be hard to be “up beat” about it all.

So I will sign off here and head up to bed knowing as soon as my head hits the pillow I will hear a cry and go to my beautiful baby girl and in the morning I will reach for my trusty friends, under eye concealer and a large cup of tea.

Do your little ones sleep through? Did you have any tricks or were they just good sleepers from the off? I’d love to know!


Summer Days

When Olivia's first started pre school I didn't think about the Sumer holidays, why would I? She was with me all day everyday day and I like to think we always did fun things (chores and life obviously in there too but made as fun as I could for 2.5 yr old and me!)
Now she has completed her first "school year" and we are half way through the holidays I can honestly say it's been amazing so far! She is only 3 but had absolutely loved pre school! She had a few days of wobbles here and there at the start but now she actually cries on the mornings she doesn't go and I have to tell her she will go the next day instead. As much as I'm pleased she loves it I obviously want her to be wanting to be with me more.

So the past 3 weeks of having her with us (myself and Bethany) all day everyday and doing so many fun things together really has made me appreciate every day with her even more. She is normally such a daddy's girl but now is all mummy! Much to my delight haha! She has grown so so much the past year since Bethany arrived and school started she is a proper little girl now and not just a toddler. Bittersweet.
We have done rock pooling, parks, play dates, sleep overs at nanna's, horse sanctuary, baking, crafts, picnics and so many more "little" things (playdough etc)

We still have the other half of the holidays to go and Iv so many things still planned for us, including some sofa days with tv and indoor picnics. I really was worried about entering Olivia while at home as school does so many things that we at home can't always keep up if you like, but we really are having so much fun together and I'm in no rush for the holidays to be over.

If you are in the same or similar situation I'd love to hear about your holidays so far.

Our Biggest Little Girl

My Biggest little girl Olivia, she made me a mummy and the person I am today and I can't thank her or love her more.
She lights up all our lives and makes us laugh every single day. She drives me crazy also as she is 3 going on 13! But I honestly wouldn't change any of it for the universe!

My pregnancy with Olivia was text book (eventually……for a little while) at the start we had bleeding as lots of mummies do, few scares but all was good. Till about 30 weeks.
Then the swelling of the ankles started, I literally couldn't fit shoes on some days. I worked in a go surgery in the office so that was ok as long as I got to work it was fine haha! I had already decided to stop work at 34 weeks as I really did feel it, first pregnancy at 35yrs old and I wasn't the fittest I'd been and I found it tough. Then with the swollen ankles/feet I made the decision to stop sooner, I was seriously struggling but couldn't understand why. I'd checked out all ok at the midwife appointments and working at gp surgery I had info and support from professionals on tap.
So I had my last day on the Friday at 32 weeks, after a relaxing weekend I was chilling on my bed on the Monday evening and "pop" well not literally but suddenly I felt wet!
My waters had broken at 32 weeks with absolutely no warning!
No pain, no bleeding, no reduced movement. Nothing. I was sharing a house with my brother at the time and called down to him. He is a legend my brother, he was so so calm. Even sniffed the bed as he thought I'd just wet myself and didn't want me panicking lol!!!! (Feel free to gag here as most people do when I tell them haha!) but once confirmed by him I had not we then called my now husband and the hospital and then started the mad dash of the 50min journey to hospital. Still no pains luckily but oh my days the longest drive EVER!

Once there and checked etc we were told I needed the absolutely hell of steroid shots, seriously the worst pain I have ever experienced. We were told it was likely she would arrive in the next 24hrs but as labour hadn't started yet it was a sit and wait game. They were going to get me ready for possible delivery and then with a mobile scan to check she was ok they found out she was breech as well!! Aaaggghhhh! That was that, after chats with doctors and nurses we agreed a c section was the safest way for her to come out especially as she now had zero (their words) fluid around her.
As we were so far away it was decided the next day I should stay in hospital until she came, potential 4/5 weeks as we were trying to keep her in till 37 weeks.
After almost 3 weeks and going home for a 2 night rest (sleeping on the delivery ward is no joke 🙈) my labour started naturally at 35 weeks on the morning of my pre op and hospital check! I was told I wasn't in labour after being hooked up to a machine and pains stopping when I laid down. Was told to go have some lunch and go to my appointment as normal, 45 mins later I collapsed on the floor apparently and had dilated to 8cm, the pain was immense! I was given gas and air and was like that for approx about 45 mins all in all until epidural and baby being whisked out.
She wasn't breathing for the first min and it felt longer than my entire pregnancy. That cry for the first time was amazing and unreal at the same time, I hadn't layer eyes on her at that point and had t keep telling myself that's my baby crying.
5lb 6oz on Friday 13th June 3:35pm, my life truly began.

We came home together the following Monday night and she dropped to 4lb 15oz and then has thrived ever since!
She had turned 3 and been at pre school a year now and is such a happy, confident, smiling, caring and loving little girl. She also knows her own mind and loves her little sister fiercely.
I could not be prouder of her and burst with pride when ever I talk about her. I will miss her so much when she starts school full time next year, but I'm so so excited to see the amazing person she is growing into.

Littlest’s 1 year update

Bethany-Rae's 1st Birthday and update, I'm a tad late as she is already 14months now (but see last post about that) well she has well and truly turned into a toddler over night. She is walking, climbing, saying some words and basically getting into any kind of mischief she can with Olivia. Much to Olivia's delight!

Food wise we aren't doing so well. I half wonder if this is also to do with the lack of sleeping through and still having bottle during the night.
She will mainly only let us feed her "baby food" all mushed up and with only some lumps. She will occasionally eat what we do I.e chips, odd fish finger, potatoes and some egg.
She will happily like most kids devour a biscuit or packet of crisps! So I know there is nothing wrong and lumps aren't a problem but just being more like her sister who was exactly the same! (However she was 5 weeks early and we were always told until 1year she would be that 5 weeks behind, so I put that down to the not eating. Turns out it was a load of rubbish!)

Iv tried cutting down milk and stopping the night feeds but this just resulted In a hell on earth of a weeks worst nights sleep EVER. So she has kept her nightly feed and at least sleeps better than she did.
But that aside she is doing absolutely amazing, she loves her sister still and follows her round like a shadow just as much as always. Utterly adorable to watch.

How are your little ones with food and weaning stages? I'd love to know!

Next blog will be about my equally gorgeous and amazing Olivia, how is she 3 and starting school next year?!

Feeling a little lost ……..

Been so long since Iv had a chance to write anything I feel like Iv lost the inspiration and don't know what to write about (?!) feeling a little lost in general some days

Having 2 little ones under 3 is AMAZING but such hard work! Especially when they don't sleep so great. I don't seem to find the time at the min to dry my hair after a shower in the morning (or evening come to that) let alone write on my blog, which makes me sad as this is my little bit of space and I so desperately want to write and share.
The summer holidays are in full swing g and I'm loving having the biggest at home, even thou she only does 2.5 days at pre school it's still nice (but again hard work to keep them both entertained!)
So why on earth am I contemplating having a 3rd!!???? I'm not sure I feel "done" or is that just the fact that Bethany-Rae has left the baby stage and apart from morning and bedtime bottles and nappy changing she is a toddler already thru and thru!
Plus I'm also struggling to with no sleep now so what would a new born do to me haha!
I'm thinking it's just the normal faze of the youngest child growing up and actually dating "that's my last baby".
What I do need to start doing, which I feel I'm always saying, is focus some time on me. Make sure I make the effort to blow dry my hair and put that piece of jewellery on to make me feel good and do my nails or that at home facial Iv brought and still not used.
For me I know even with the lack of sleep that if I make the effort to do some of these things I will in turn once again feel good about myself, in turn making me a better person but more importantly a better and much more fun mummy!

Anyone else feel like this sometimes?

Where did it go? 

10 months. 10 long months, 10 short months, but where did they go?!! Our littlest girl Bethany-Rae is about to turn 10 months old, in 8 short weeks she will be 1 year old and I honestly can’t comprehend that. 
Bitter sweet but true, I love seeing her do new things literally every single day, she is almost walking now and feeds herself (she still allows me to give her her bottle thank goodness!) she is following her sister around like a shadow but always has to have me in sight or all hell will break loose. She has a temper in her already when she doesn’t get what she wants, this scares the crap out of me as she is only 10 months old! Yes 10 months old, she is still my little baby and has to be cuddled to sleep and loves nothing better than having cuddles and sitting on your lap playing. Has four teeth now and enjoys chewing on my hand t ease them, ouch! 

It feels like only yesterday we had our first night together in hospital, and just like I did with her sister I stayed awake all night just starring at her not believing she was mine. 

I can’t wait to get to know her even more as her personality grows and she learns new things, but at the same time i want to press pause, being our last baby I want to desperately hold on to the baby stage. 

Though not so much the sleepless nights, but that’s another blog! Along with the fact our biggest girl will turn 3yrs old just 2 weeks after Bethany-Rae’s birthday!! 
Send me wine I can’t cope!! 

My Mummy Tummy

Let’s set the record straight, I’m no modal. Never have been never will be, but I do like to be able to get into fairly fashionable clothes and be able to breathe and eat! 

I wasn’t super slim before I had Olivia, my eldest, but I was comfortable and average size, I worked out when I could be bothered. Dare I say when I had the time! 

(Oooo note to past self- u have no idea what having no time truly means till u have kids haha!) 

And once I fell pregnant I did take that opportunity to eat for 2 and bloody enjoy it! Then with our difficulties at the end of the pregnancy, that will be in a future blog, and a c section as the result followed by problems after. Well losing the baby weight just didn’t enter in my vision, watching, holding and showing my baby the big world was all that mattered to me. 

Then when she was approx 15/16 months old I started going to a class with some other mummy friends doing weights and cardio, i was really enjoying it and having that boost of energy! 

Then we discovered we were expecting our littlest baby girl, so me being me and over cautious I stopped going and relaxed the diet.

So second pregnancy and having to take things easier (as much as that was possible with a toddler!) and then a second c section ment the exercise was put off even longer!!

When Bethany-Rae turned 6 months I decided now was the time to get back on track! So being inspired by a lovely lady blogger I have been following, I joined slimming world. 

So far my weight loss has been slow and steady but I’m happy with that if it stays off! I received my first half a stone loss certificate last week and was so bloody chuffed with myself! 

Pride of place on front of the fridge haha! 

I know it won’t be easy but I will get there, I need to get there so I can find some of the old me again. She needs to join up with the new me and my new amazing roll of mummy.